quietly, slowly, simply, gently - finding ways amongst the noise {slow living}

Slow & Sustainable Livingellie2 Comments

I realised quite recently that the slow down that I thought was what I wanted isn't exactly what I want.need.

I realised that quietly is what I'm aiming for.wishing for.needing.

Quietly quietly.

The slow living of the country life isn't as a real a thing as is imagined. Oh yes, in a certain way, for sure. There is a slowing - and not just the internet or the Sunday driver in front of you - a slowing of a lot of things.

But I'm finding my mind is moving at the wondering speed it always does. Jumping and flittering and mercurial. The way I am. The way I always am. always will be. That's my mind. My body has slowed, but my mind wants lots. And that's ok.

So - it's quietly I want.

Some days I find that I have three people talking at me all at once. Yes. Three people wanting to have conversations with me with, needing answers and responses and thoughts and ideas and opinions and .... I suppose all mother's know that. Some days all I want is no-one talking to me, no-one needing me, wanting me, calling me, asking me, demanding of me.

So. In order for me to find this quiet amongst the noise of life I decided that firstly I need to want it. To know I wanted it was the best direction in finding it and having it. If you're after quietly in your days, you need to realise that's what you want.

Say the word in your head. 

Say it softly over your tongue. 

Maybe, if no-one's listening speak it, whisper it.

Is that the word you want? Really? 

Know it before you find it.

For me to find quietly throughout my whole day, I've found that I need to make it happen in small pockets of time. To actively seek quiet. And then to bring it into the other noiser aspects of my day. For me to be better equipped to have three people talking at me, wanting and needing me I need to find quiet amongst that; within that. To know the quiet spots in my mind, my heart, my soul.

The first ever so tentative steps are to spend 10minutes being quiet. This, for me, doesn't mean meditation, as that's a different sort of quiet. For me, this means boiling the kettle and making a pot of tea. Real leaf tea in a tea pot. There's the quiet moments of rinsing the tea pot and waiting for the kettle to boil. Of finding which cup I will use today. And listening to the sound of the water as it heats in the kettle on the stove, the gas on the metal, the water moving in the metal kettle. And filling the kettle.

Sometimes my quietly might include some crochet or stitchwork, or putting fabric in jars for dyeing. Sometimes it might be sitting, with the sun across my shoulders and my tea cup in my hands.

Always just me being within and without whatever is around me. Actively hearing the sounds around me. And really tasting the tea as I drink it, feeling it, thinking about it. Not rushing.

No phone or computer or reading or music. Those aren't part of my quietly moments. You must actively make quietly happen to start, to find it.

This is my journey to find quietly. It began with the last ten minutes, and now I will try and share quietly over here too. 

Ellie Beck Petalplum Finding Quiet within the noise raindrops on flower head

ways to be kind

Slow & Sustainable Livingellie5 Comments

Things lately haven't been the easiest around here as we may be hoping for. 

Lots of things piling up and sitting solidly in my stomach. And keeping me awake at 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am... Finally to fall asleep at 5.30ish as the light comes up. 

I am trying to be kind to myself. To be gentle and soft. To have few expectations of myself. To see the good in the little moments around me.

I haven't felt this tired since.... well maybe since I had Ross River Fever combined with Barmah Forest Virus. Or maybe since I was breastfeeding two children at once... Anyway. Tiredness adds to the overwhelming feeling of everything. 

I know all the things I have to complain about are nothing compared to so so SO many people around this planet of ours. And I know I have to put it into perspective. But sometimes it's ok to mope and feel down as well. 

Things I'm doing to be kind to myself. To find some quiet and peace and simple joy amongst it all. ::

- daily creative. Crochet, weaving, styling and taking photos, writing

- picking flowers for our home

- sticking things on the wall that make me happy to look at

- reminding myself with verbal quotes - visual cues help too

- hugging my kids when they need it and when i need it

- walking outside in the forest and the fresh air

- ignoring the outside noise that keeps pushing in in in to my brain (oh these school holidays really are stretching us to the limit of patience with both children, who will not stop talking or making noice of any sort. And yes- both my kids talk in their sleep!)

- seeing friends and just being with them - creative conversation is sometimes hard to make; it's ok to sit and be together quietly

- telling myself stories and dreams and planning new adventures

- thinking about a little getaway on my own or with my man (boy do we need some time away together!)

- I bought myself a new pair of sunglasses and they have a rosey tint. I've decided I'm looking at life with a rosey hue this year.

What do you do when you need to be kind to yourself? When life is throwing lots of things at you and you are trying hard to stay afloat?

{quietly} in the creative

ellie2 Comments

Each day I still long for quietly. Some days are much easier, some days are much harder. Some days despite the quiet around me, I have an inner turmoil within me. It's an always mindful practice to come back to now, to the quiet of now. That is how I best find quiet. 

To sit and breathe deeply. 
To think about my breath. 
To still the noise within my head and mind and body. 
To ignore the noise outside my self. 

To find quietly one must actively be quietly. Steady breathing still mind. 

I have slowed down on drinking coffee. Mostly in the hope that it'll stop some of the nervous anxiety I have over some things happening right now. Most days I haven't been drinking any at all, occasionally I will have one cup mindfully enjoying it.

I often find meditation in my crochet. In the steady constant stitches. Sometimes not - sometimes the stitches work themselves while the hurricane of life goes on with me caught up in it. The ideal is to find quietly and still amongst the hurricane, to bring it into daily life - not only practice while daily life is being still. 

Last week the girl and I stayed at home, while the boys went to the movies (to see The Hobbit). We wanted to do something special together, as time alone is rare. We set the table with paints and paper, and a pot of tea to share. The fallen roses and the cups on the table provided inspiration. We chatted together (that girl can barely stop talking ever!), but in a calm and quiet manner. I was still and in the moment while actively being part of the moment. 

Finding quietly within the chaos of creative is indeed a wonderful thing. Somehow you slip into a new sense of making and creating. Not thinking about what you're making, simply making. I wish for more time spent quietly with my making this year.